Numbness is Falling
by bella-writer
Summary: Part Six and Seven are up! Some mild Jate that isn't shown on Lost during season two. Told from Kate and Jack's POV. Crappy summary I know, but it's worth reading and checking out. Warning: Season two spoilers, up to Collision. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Okay. Please review. Everything helps! I'm a 14 year old who wants to be a writer one day and this is my first Lost fanfic (second fanfic in general!). Tell me if anything I do here is out of character or just simply nutty. I don't own anything of Lost, I just play with the characters. Also, I'm thinking of a part II from Jack's POV but not sure.  
Anyways, on with this story...

Numbness is Falling

I loved rainy days when I was a kid. But really, I loved rainy autumn nights. A refreshing smell with a hint of smoke and moisture. Three different elements packed into one beautiful package. And the sky has a weird glow to it, tinted dark, dark purple with bits of glowing sky where light is near. Sounds of rain hitting pavement, cars, roofs, trees, anything within the rains way is mixed in with random honks from traffic forms a soothing rhythm. Sometimes on nights when my bravery level was off the chart, I'd shimmy on down toward the moist ground from my second floor room and feel the drip, drip, drip rain wrap around me. I'd start with my fingers at first, slowly stick my feet, legs, arms out and eventually have my whole body dripped, dripped, dripped on.

The cooling sensation was comforting at first. From comforting to bone chilling uncomfortable, rain numbed nonetheless. Finally when thoughts of Tom, my parents, my faults were numbed and washed away, I'd climb back into my room and sleep a restless sleep.

But that was back home, or at least my first home for about sixteen years. Before I screwed my life over. Before flight 815. Before Jack and polar bears and others and hatches and God knows what else.

Now I sit on the beach, waiting for the rain to numb my mistakes, the mysteries and the feelings for an almost stranger, I look up at the very same sky. Black. No dark purple glow. Different smell, too. The recipe doesn't require that much smoke. Rhythm is out of whack too; too soft as the droplets hit the soil and sand. But the feeling's the same in the end. It's always the same, no matter where I am. Loved and cleansed to uncomfortable and numb.

No matter what choice A makes me feel, choice B always makes it better.


	2. Chapter 2

Whee. Part two. Jack POV. This one is for xxkatrina because she reviewed.:) Hopefully you'll like this. I'm not so sure about it, so please R&R!  
These first two 'chapters' are more like introductions. I swear they'll be a smidge longer in the next chapters **IF** I continue this.  
You know the drill: I don't own anything related to _Lost, _I just play with the characters.

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_  
Rain, rain, go away, come again another day…  
_  
I sit from a distance and watch as her fingers play with the constantly coming rain. Too starker like? Probably, but it's not safe out here on the beach, in the dark. Too many people on this island had their brush with death. If she was added to that list, I don't know whether I could handle it or not.   
Every rainfall night, I would watch her fidget while she pretends to sleep and finally when she thinks everyone is asleep, she slowly walks out of the caves or the hatch and heads towards the beach. She walks quickly at first, but then slows down eventually as the path nears to the beach. Then after sitting on the beach for half the night or when the rain stopped – which ever came first – she would return to where she came from in a Zombie like fashion, her face expressionless and body almost limp.

In all honesty, I hate rain, even when I was a kid. Mud puddles never appealed to me. Plus, Sarah was…gone on a raining Sunday morning. Dad was presumed dead on a raining Australian evening. The forecast for the day of the flight was light rain. The day Charlie, Kate and I went out into the jungle …something almost ate us alive. And the island gave us a sudden shower. The hunt and finding of a lifeless Charlie? Again, sudden showers. Point taken, my history with rain isn't too great. 

Which makes me wonder about Kate and why she's out on rainfall nights. Kate's complicated to say the least. I often wonder's why I'm drawn to her. What is it about Kate that makes me get up and follow her, even though I'm the one who needs sleep to help the others?

I wish I knew.

I shiver as I wait for the last bit of rain to fall underneath nature's umbrella: a wide branched tree. Second or minutes later – I can never tell anymore – Kate gets up. I see that she noticed me and I offer her a smile. She starts walking closer towards the path, her face nearly expressionless. I don't know whether she's mad that I'm out here, waiting for her, or happy that I am here, watching out for her. I'm afraid she'll blow me off, forget about me and I don't know if I could handle that or not. But when she smiles back, I forget about my doubts and the next thing I know, I'm offering her my hand. Without hesitation, she takes it.


	3. Chapter 3

Whee. Part Three. Kate's POV. Finally some actual dialog. As always, please read and review. Tell me if anything is out of character or simply nutty.  
And the usual reminder: I do not own anything that relates to _Lost. _All I do is play with the characters.  
**Spoilers for season two, espcially "Everybody Hates Hugo"  
**Enjoy! xo

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He caught me coming out of the shower. Nothing but a towel. A short towel at that. I swear I was radiating red, talking slower that usual, trying not to stutter, but still dropping clothes along the way. 

I thought last night was going to make things awkward. It didn't. Today's encounter? I can bet my money on it.

Last night, when he found me on the beach, in the rain, Jack walked me back to the hatch. When he took my hand, it felt twenty times better than rainfall. The best part: after walking for what felt like minutes (but really was 30 minutes in reality), I didn't feel numb.

Endless memories and thoughts disappear in the rain, leaving me numb. Jack erases, at least for the near future, the past leaving me feeling…loved? Cared for? Belonging? I don't know what it was, it wasn't numbness, but it did the job nonetheless.

Jack finally spoke about a quarter of the way there, "What were you doing out there, Kate?"

My voice cracked a bit, it felt like hours since I last spoke, "I was… thinking. About the rain."

The smile that looks like he's going to laugh but eventually won't crept on his face, "You like rain?"

I grinned, "Love it." I hesitated whether to add a "especially when it numbs me" but instead I said, "good childhood memories."

Jack nodded, but said nothing as we inched closer to the hatch, our latest issue. And silence took over. Jack just stared at the path ahead and me, back and forth for a few minutes.

Whenever he does that, stares at me, I feel like Jack can see right through me. I feel vulnerable, as if the worst of me is written all over my face.

**BAD DAUGHTER. COWARD. **

**THEIF. SELFISH. RUNAWAY. **

And worst of all,

**MURDERER. **

By now the numbness was almost gone, and coldness, with chattering teeth, took over. Goosebumps crept along my body. My sticking, damp clothes were doing their job: sticking.

I noticed Jack's stare, "You cold?" he asked.

"Uh, a tiny bit, yeah."

His hand let's go of mine. I absolutely forgot that I was holding onto Jack Sheppard's hand. Awkwardly he wrapped his left arm around my shoulders, pushing my slightly towards him. It felt comfortable and was easy to walk with, my shoulders fitting into his armpit. The height difference was perfect.

We made simple chat about the others on the island, especially Turnip He—Aaron, the weather and eventually food supply.

"We don't have anything to worry about, Kate." He said as we got closer to the hatch, "There is enough food for all of us for about a month. Give or take."

"It will run out eventually."

He did that almost laugh smile again, "Way to be optimistic."

I continued, whenever I am with Jack, I'm not afraid to voice an opinion, "We can't rely on the hatch for everything."

This obviously hit something, "And who or what should we rely on? Use Locke's theory on hope? Faith?"

We stopped in front of the hatch, "No Jack," I said, "Each other."

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What do you think? Please read and review! I'll give you a cookie. :)  
I have the next bit pretty much set (just a few random things to fix) but I'm pretty much stumped for what to do next. Any ideas? Let me know.  
xo


	4. Chapter 4

Part Four. Whee. Thanks to everyone for the reviews, seriously, you do not know how much it means to me. Please review this part because I'm really if-y about it. Okay, good news? I've got a rough idea of what Part V is going to be about. I just need to rewatch this weeks episode of_ Lost_.  
Bad news? I'm really sick (getting better though!) and really busy at the same time. I got a huge test on the French Revolution on Wednesday, two dryland and one rowing practice before Wednesday, and a lot of school band practices for the fall concert coming up in the beginning of November.  
Their will be an update by Friday. I hope.  
Anyways, as always please read and review. Tell me what's OOC or just nutty. Anything relating to _Lost_ doesn't belong to me, I just play with the characters and plot. **Spoilers up to and including "Everybody Hates Hugo" **And if anyone has ideas for upcoming parts, please, don't hesitate to let me know.  
Enough rambling. Here is Part IV

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There was no rain tonight. Thank god. No rain. No wind. No elements in our way to enjoy one of the first good times we had on the island. It was the first time in the last month and half where we could finally stop caring, just laugh and forget about everything. At least, for the near future.

Hurley did good today. The potato chips, the candy bars, the peanut butter, almost any food imaginable other than boar and picked fruits. These things were all something we needed today. We need this _lavish_ banquet. We need a time where thoughts of our past, our present and our future were erased for the time being.

Yeah, Hurley did good today.

"Hi, Jack." Kate sat down beside me. "You got salsa? No way."

I grinned, "Yeah, trade you for some of that PB&J sandwich you got there."

"Deal," and she handed over half of her sandwich. "So what did you find with Sayid today?"

"Not exactly sure, you'd have to ask Sayid for the details, but it's some energy thing. That's how the water, uh, runs and stuff."

Kate blushed a bit, I've never seen her blush before, "Right," she said.

"So I guess you were right about the hatch." I said after a while.

She looked up from her food, "Hm? About what?"

"We can't really rely on the hatch for everything. We can't anymore. Food is about half gone by now, more or less."

Kate said nothing. I started feeling that weird nervous feeling I get sometimes around her, so I started to ramble.

"And I think you're right…about replying on each other…I think that works…"

Kate nodded, still saying nothing, but she finally spoke up, "You never did tell me how you got that tattoo, Jack." I saw the smile forming on her face.

And as I start the conversation about stupid med school pranks, I get sucked into telling her everything. I tried to keep the conversation light and well, fluffy, but talking of my father's death, my mother's disappointment, Sarah, and well, my life in general, turned the conversation into anything but fluff.

But it felt good to talk it all out, especially with Kate. She would nod in sympathy, laugh or saying nothing at all in all the right times.

"So you were married?" she asked as we started to finish off the rest of dinner.

"Yeah. I was. Almost didn't though." I answered.

A grin appeared on her face, "Wait. Hold on. I cannot picture that. Cold feet? From you?"

I couldn't help but smile back, "Yeah, me of all people."

We finished off our food, "Well, your turn now." I said, "I rambled on for a while on the great life of Jack Sheppard, why don't you go?"

There's little I know about Kate. That little toy plane she carries around is obviously extremely important to her. It's simple to see that. I don't know what exactly made her be in Australia and come on Flight 815. I know nothing about her childhood, her teenage and adult years. I don't know what makes her tick. What makes her so angry that she wants to scream. What makes her stomach sore from laughing. I know nothing. But yet, the more we spend time together, the more I feel like I've known her forever.

"We'll save that for another meal." She replied.

And with that she got up to head back to the hatch, leaving me to wonder some more on the mysterious Kate.

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How was it? Like it? Hate it? REVIEW. I'll give you a cookie.  
And like I said before, any ideas? Let me know!  
Thanks a bunch xo 


	5. Chapter 5

Part Five! Whee. I love the feedback. Seriously, I love it and appreciate it SO much.  
Anyways, I lied before, somewhat. This weeks schedual has become more spaced out. Dryland today was cancelled so I was home earlier and I got the chance to study and do my homework faster, leaving time for me to write part five. AND my test was on the French Rev? Postponed for Friday, giving me a couple extra days. Plus, I'm not so sick anymore.  
Okay, enough about me. Here is Part Five. It was kind of hard to write. It's Kate's thoughts on what happened in "...And Found" from last Wednesday. And I just realized that there is no new episode this week, not until November 9! So, I won't be updating for a while, just working on a new fic. Maybe. Anyways  
SPOILERS: up to and including "...And Found"  
I DO NOT own anything involving with Lost, I just play with the characters.

* * *

He was married. Wait, or was it that he _is_ married? I can't really remember anymore. Charlie's loud guitar playing and the louder boos coming from various parts of our little beach camp last night made it impossible to hear properly. Anyways, married. I-do-Until-death-do-us-part married. Not much of a surprise though. I mean, come on, it's Jack.

I'm surprised I acted so calm. At least, _I thought_ I was calm. I poked fun at him and left as casually as I possibly could. Gracefully? Not so much. I tripped over that damn stick that Walt's dog carries around. But because of that damn dog and his stupid stick, Jack laughed. God, I love his laugh. It's a shame he doesn't laugh more often.

Ironically enough, this morning Sun realized that she lost her wedding ring. I heard it from Hurley and I honestly felt like she needed some help finding it or talking it out. But then she mentioned the bottle of messages.

When I watched the cartoons as a kid, a smile would creep on my face, especially when that bullet, no, everything proof coyote or Bugs Bunny or whoever would get an idea and a light bulb would turn on above their head. I swear, the same thing happened to me.

"Sun, where is the bottle?"

She buried it. I don't know why. To protect us from knowing the truth? For closure? I don't know. She buried it a couple of feet away from the beach, where we still "live" and not far from the path towards the caves. I don't know what came over me, but the second the bottle was in my hands; I forgot about Sun and started ripping through the noted.

"I miss my father…." _No, Jack's dad is dead_.

"I love you and miss you, Scott..." _Uh, no, as far as I know Jack is not gay…_

I went through them quickly, hardly hearing Sun's muffled pleas, "Kate! Those are private! Kate, stop!"

Finally Sun grabbed a hold of my shaking arm, "Kate, what are you doing?"

What am I doing? I'm flipping through private letters to loved ones saying, "I love you" "I miss you" "I'm alright" hoping not to find one addressed to a Sarah and signed with love from a Jack.

I lie, "We didn't, uh, I didn't say good-bye…"

She looks at me, eyes a bit gentler, "Sawyer?"

Okay, true, I didn't say good-bye to him, and yeah, I liked him. But not like that. Whether we like it or not, Sawyer is good for us survivors and being on a good term with him is a good choice.

I scatter my eyes around, not wanting to answer Sun. Something glittering and sparkling in the sun catches my attention.

"Sun…" I didn't even finish my sentence, but just quietly started to laugh, never taking my eyes off it.

Sun finally sees it. She found her ring.

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Please read and review! 


	6. Chapter 6

Okay. Wow. It's been a while, eh? Last night's episode was fantastic. I really like the Ana-Lucia character. She's interesting.  
Anyways, I updated as you can see. I can't find any transcripts, boo. So that made me change my whole story around because I was going to go do it in so many different ways. Oh well, this one doesn't seem too bad.  
I'm dying for it to be next Wednesday already. I want to see it so bad. I've been replaying the preview over and over 'cause it looks awesome.  
Alright, here it is. It's really short and I don't think it's too great because I wrote it while feeling a bit crappy and having a headache, but I might repost and fix it up a bit if I have time this weekend.  
Enough rambling. Part Six...

* * *

Kate never seems to stop amazing me. She really pulled through today with helping Sawyer. Never really seen anyone in my whole doctoring career take care of someone like that. Kate would have been an amazing doctor, I bet. If only she didn't do whatever she has done.

The day seemed to go off all right. I was talking to Rose, finally getting some fresh air after being in the hatch for a couple days and in came a golf ball, right into our water supply. It took me less than three seconds to realize that it was Kate, with Charlie and Hurley again, golfing and betting.

I quickly said good-bye to Rose and headed down the beach.

"You hooked it."

I remember my dad telling me the exact same thing the first thing we went golfing. He told me what I did wrong and basically, that's all I know about golf. Never really cared for the sport, but Kate didn't need to know that.

Somehow our friendly banter and pokes at each other ended up in a challenge. Typical, really. Even more typical is me shooting the golf ball off into the thick part of the jungle, by a small river.

Then the strong African American came with Sawyer on his shoulder.

That's how I ended up watching in awe as Kate worked on getting the pills down Sawyer's throat and also in disgust as she cared for him like that. Would she do the same if that were me in his place? I don't know. Do I ever want to find out?

I honestly, don't know.

"Kate," after a few minutes of working on him I spoke, "He seems fine now. Can you keep an eye on him?"

She looked up, eyes wide, "Yeah. Sure."

I walked out of the room, headed towards Locke to see how he's doing on his shift. The African American is sitting on the sofa seat and Locke is sitting across from him, their voices soft murmurs.

"Jack," Locke stood up when he realized I was in the room, "Mr. Eko told me that Jin and Michael are fine and that the rest of their survivors are alright too. But, it's Shannon…"

I blinked really hard, trying to think of the connection between a bunch of tail section survivors and Shannon. "Shannon?"

"Shannon was shot."

I took a few steps back, and then couldn't stop. I started pacing around the kitchen.

Michael appeared out of nowhere. I forgot about what I was going to do for a second. Then he started talking about Sayid being tied up by someone from the tail section and I lost it. No more people are going to be killed by them.

It really isn't my day today. Eko said it was Ana-Lucia. Was it really almost fifty days ago that I was talking to her at a bar? Wait, not talking, flirting? Is it the same Ana-Lucia?

I lost train of thought between that point and when I finally saw Sayid with Shannon cradled in his arms. Did the Ana-Lucia I meet really do that? Then I saw her, head hung low. A black figure, looking like a handle to a gun, was hanging out of the back of her jeans.

That's the Ana-Lucia I met.

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This is really short, I know. I wanted to make a nice long one. But instead, I give you two in one. So, here's part seven. :)  
R&R! 


	7. Chapter 7

That's right. Two in one day. I thought it was such a fabulous episode that it deserves both points of view on it. I don't think this one is too great either so reviews love.  
It feels awesome to final update. I've been so busy with rowing. I just had two regattas in the last two weeks and a lot of tests and stuff as report cards were finished off. So yes, finally updating and happy. Even happier about next week's episode. Oh, the Jate goodness. P )

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Part Seven 

Mom always said that the best way to get medicine to go down was through calmness, not forcefulness. I guess, they don't teach doctors that in medical school.

It felt weird to be caring for Sawyer. It would have felt weird caring for anyone who is shot, really. Once I got the pills down, I just made sure everything was normal: that he wasn't too hot or too cold, that he wasn't shivering; the simple things that Jack told me to watch out for, basically.

We golfed today. Jack final stopped being a hermit and came out of his shell/the hatch. We had fun but he can't golf at all though; just thinking about his swing makes me want to burst out laughing. But I control myself because Sawyer's less than a foot away. I just remember that whenever I was sick, I liked quiet. I know it's not the same thing, but quiet is always good. Quiet's good.

Then I hear yelling. So much for quiet. I leave Sawyer, just for a minute, to see what's going on. That tall, dark man is standing their, quietly speaking, "Ana-Lucia didn't mean to do it."

Jack stares off at the man like he did when he first saw Desmond. Finally he breaks the stare, looks out down. He's thinking. Jack always looks down to his feet when he's thinking long and hard. He speaks after a few seconds, "Ana-Lucia?"

He recognizes the name. Again.

They quickly organize a plan. Just Jack and I think his name is Eko, no guns. I pulls Sun off to the side as they prepare.

Curiosity is getting to the best of me, "Take care of Sawyer for me?" I ask, "Please?"

I quickly pack a bag filled with water, a sweater and some food just in case and follow Jack and the Eko guy about twenty steps behind them.

They say nothing as they walked through the jungle, up towards territory I knew little about. I can only see the back of Jack, but I can tell his mind is going like clock work. He's thinking hard. Think hard about what though? This Ana-Lucia?

I almost throw up when I see Shannon's bloody and battered looking body in Sayid's arms. I forget about her as my gaze falls upon a Spanish woman. Ana-Lucia, I guess. Her head is hung low for a while but once she brings it up she makes eye contact with Jack. It stays like that for a few minutes, and then I ran.

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Reviews are fantastic. xo 


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